Having a relationship with someone is not easy, let alone having a relationship with someone who is currently in prison. Whether the relationship is a marriage, dating, or met while incarcerated, it can be hard to maintain it. It usually requires patience, humility, and balance. However, it does not mean it is impossible to have a relationship with someone in prison. There are several tips to follow to maintain a relationship with someone in prison. Some of them can be found on this post.
Tips to Maintain a Relationship with Someone in Prison
If you want to maintain a relationship with someone in prison, you can follow the tips below:
1. Think that the relationship is a long distance one
In order to help you with your separation, try to think that your relationship is a long distance one. Aside from dealing with separation, it is also helpful as a way to make the bond between you and your partner stronger. In addition, you should also be happy that you have many times that you can spend with your family members, friends, or with your own.
2. Call and or send mail to your partner often
If it is not easy to frequently visit your partner directly at the correctional facility due to certain reasons such as because you are busy or the facility is far away from your place, you are suggested to consider using every communication available to you. Phone calls are recommended to exchange greetings. If it is possible for you to have a video call with your partner, then do not miss a chance. This one is best as you can not only hear her or his voice but also her or his face. Apart from these two, you can also consider sending them mail, especially if you are pretty good at writing or you are a kind of person who is not good at showing your feelings directly and prefers writing to talking.
3. Take time to visit your partner
Every time you get a chance to visit your partner, take it. If it is not possible to make a daily visit, come once a week or once a month. Aside from the regular weekly or month visits, try to make visits on holidays and on big occasions such as Christmas, New Year’s, Easter, and so on. By making a visit on these special occasions, your partner will not feel lonely and will remember the beautiful memories. If you do not want to miss these big occasions with your family members or friends, there is nothing to worry since visiting your partner will not take all day long. Even an hour or two is enough. If there is no way for you to come on the exact days of these special occasions, try to come on the day before or after.
4. Be open with one another
Having a relationship with someone who is currently behind the bar is not easy and full of challenges. It is normal for both you and your partner to experience different feelings. To maintain the relationship, please be open and be honest with each other about a few things, including about what is going on in life and what you two think about it. It is helpful to avoid issues and to prepare for the relationship outside the correctional facility.
5. Be supportive
Your support can mean a lot for your partner in prison who tends to have a hard time. While the journey is also not easy for you, try to show support for your partner as it will help her or him to get better both mentally and physically. If she or he is good mentally and physically, the chance of you two getting a good and healthy relationship is high.
6. Introduce your partner to your best friend
If the relationship is a met while incarcerated kind of relationship, you can come to a correctional facility where your partner is incarcerated with your best friend to introduce them to each other. Do not feel rushed. It is fine to do it after a couple of months when you are sure about your relationship. Before or after the meeting, you can talk to your best friend about your relationship. Be honest with your best friend to get a useful opinion. Your best friend must know you very well so you can ask their opinion whether or not your partner is good for you.
7. Fix the issues right away
When there are any issues, fix them right away and do not wait until they get bigger. Actually, it applies for any relationship and not only for the relationship between someone outside and inside the bar. If there are no talks between you two at the beginning when the issue is still small, it would be harder for the issue to be fixed when it gets bigger. Do not get surprised if there is no solution to the issue.
8. Discuss about the future
According to the couples who have gone through separation because one of them was in prison, the first few days, weeks, or months after their partner leaves prison is the hardest time for them. In order to make it less harder, it is better for you and your partner to make a plan about the days after the release and about how to deal with such a period. If you two spend a lot of time together and frequently keep in touch with each other during the incarceration, it would be easier to be around together again when your partner is released.
9. Do not send your partner money continuously
It is a must for you to make sure that your relationship is not based on monetary lines. Do not send your partner money continuously even if you love and care about her or him so much. While it is true that your partner has a hard time and needs money to live, sending money to her or him continuously can make her or him think that you are just someone who can be used and can be taken for granted. Once again, do not spoil her or him, especially if the relationship is not a marriage.
10. Focus and be honest on yourself
The first step to be honest with yourself is to be aware that you have a partner in prison. Try to be honest with yourself that the future is not promised and your day to day in life will be affected. If you feel these feelings, just let them be and do not hide them because they are valid.
If you have time to be alone, please rely on yourself instead of your partner. While the support from your partner is important, you should also focus on yourself and believe that you are strong enough to get through this challenge.
Bottom Line
In conclusion, maintaining a relationship with someone in prison is easier said than done. It requires balance, patience, and humility. By following all the tips above, you will be able to handle your relationship easier. Even though some things may not work, just try your best because hard work will not betray you.
A bookworm and researcher especially related to law and citizenship education. I spend time every day in front of the internet and the campus library.
