You may have a brother who is incarcerated and feel at a loss on how to motivate your brother to feel inspired and live his best life. And, you may also feel embarrassed or deeply saddened by your brother’s suffering behind bars. As we know that life in prison is very harsh, making it stressful and depressing for the people inside. You certainly don’t want anything bad to happen to your brother. Now, let’s explore some ways to motivate your incarcerated brother.
Ways to Motivate Your Brother in Prison
Have you ever read the book “The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Freedom on Death Row” by Anthony Ray Hinton?
For your information, Hinton spent 30 years on death row for a crime he never committed. Hinton’s story teaches us that one person can significantly change another person’s life. For Hinton, his childhood friend Lester Bailey, who visited him regularly for three decades, changed his life significantly. During his down days, Hinton recalls how the interaction and friendship between him and Lester Bailey saved his life. Through the book, we should realize how important the role of family is for a loved one who is in prison. So, if you have a brother who is incarcerated, don’t give up on motivating your brother.
Here are some ways you can motivate your incarcerated brother:
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Visit Your Incarcerated Brother
The first way to motivate your incarcerated brother is to visit him in prison. Everyone needs human interaction. It is the same with your brother. He definitely needs someone or people, be it family or friends, who will give him the motivation to live through the difficult days in prison. Therefore, visit your incarcerated brother regularly. If you have transportation problems, you can ask other friends or family to drive you to visit. Alternatively, you can also ask for help from someone you can rely on, for example, if you do not have documents, so you have a fear of entering a federal facility. If you are a citizen or resident and have a brother who is incarcerated, throw that fear away. Remember that your brother desperately needs your presence. Before visiting your brother in prison, make sure you know the rules about visitation.
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Answer Phone Calls from Your Incarcerated Brother
If your brother who is in prison calls you, then pick up the phone. Your brother may need someone to talk to, or just miss you. Be aware that most prison systems require prisoners to pay money to make these calls. In this case, you may be able to open an account to receive calls from your incarcerated loved one so as to avoid the cost of making phone calls to you. When you receive a call from your incarcerated brother, you can ask how he is doing in prison. If your brother tells you about the bitterness and hardship of life in prison, keep motivating him. Never keep blaming your brother’s mistakes, as it will make your brother feel sad. The point is, when you receive a call from your incarcerated brother, speak kindly. Tell him how much you miss him.
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Send Letters to Your Incarcerated Brother
As we know, making a phone call costs money. And, not all family members or friends have an account to receive calls from prison. To provide motivation to your incarcerated brother, and to avoid phone charges, you can write a letter to your incarcerated brother. This is a cheaper and more meaningful way to communicate with a loved one in prison. Before you send your first letter, don’t forget to visit the website of the prison where your loved one lives to find out and learn the rules regarding sending letters. In your letter, you can ask your brother how he is doing. Or you can also tell him about your day. A survey has shown that prisoners who receive frequent letters from their family or friends are more emotionally stable because they feel cared for and loved by their family or friends. Therefore, often send letters to your brother. Tell him that you really miss him. In the letter, you can also include several quotes that can motivate your brother to continue to be enthusiastic and patient in spending his days behind bars.
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Send Money if Possible
According to surveys, many people whose loved ones are incarcerated do not do this. In fact, this is very important for the comfort of inmates. Without money, inmates may not have regular access to communication tools such as calling cards, stamps, or envelopes. Inmates may also need money to contact family, friends, or lawyers by telephone. And, inmates also definitely need pens, paper, stamps, and envelopes to send much-needed information through the mail. Apart from that, inmates also need money to buy their necessities in prison, such as buying delicious snacks and personal care products, for example soap, toothbrushes, toothpaste or deodorant. Therefore, you have to send money to your brother who is in prison. Make sure that all your brother’s needs are met. His life in prison is very miserable, so you should not add to his suffering by not sending him money. To be able to send money to your brother who is in prison, find out information about the rules for sending money to inmates. Sometimes, depositing money into an inmate’s account can be difficult. You will need some information such as your full name, order number, and account balance that does not exceed the maximum funds limit. After you collect this information, it will take less than five minutes to complete the account deposit.
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Send Care Packages
Even though you can’t see your incarcerated brother often, there are many ways you can motivate and entertain your brother while in prison. Yes, apart from sending money, you can also send a care package for him. You can contact this care package provider to send a gift to your brother who is in prison. Each jurisdiction has different regulations. Therefore, you should ask prison officials about the rules for sending care packages to inmates, including knowing which providers are approved to use, how often inmates can receive care packages, and what items are included in care packages for inmates. Usually, care packages for inmates include food, such as snacks, candy, coffee, meat, and seafood, or personal hygiene items such as soap, shampoo, toothpaste, and deodorant. Also, in care packages, some inmates may receive gym clothes, shoes, or underwear. Items such as books, magazines and newspapers can also be sent to inmates. Now, you might want to send your brother his favorite book so that he can feel entertained, and get through his days in prison better.
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Convey Positive Messages to Your Incarcerated Brother
Most incarcerated people experience self-doubt. They often question their self-worth in the eyes of others. They feel embarrassed and depressed. If you have a brother who is in prison, you should remind him that he is a strong figure, despite the mistakes he has made. Convince him that he can survive every day in prison and survive. Continue to convey positive messages to your brother. Your positive messages are very valuable to him. You can also ask about what steps he took to improve himself for the better. Apart from that, you can also discuss eligibility for parole. Your brother may be eligible for parole. And, if your brother is indeed eligible for parole, say that you will do your best to help. Try to find out about attorneys who can help you prepare a parole package. An experienced parole attorney will certainly do his best to draw attention to your brother’s good record and positive plans for the future.
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Talk about Your Life
Even though your brother is in prison, try to always involve him in your historical moments. For example, if you are getting married soon, or graduating soon, tell your brother. People who are in prison of course also want to know about what is happening in the lives of their family members. You can tell your incarcerated brother about school, work, dating, or whatever you do for fun. Never hold back from sharing your thoughts, perspectives, and perceptions with an incarcerated loved one. By involving him in your life, he will feel appreciated by you. And of course it will have a good effect on his emotions and feelings.
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Open Up About Your Incarcerated Brother
Not everyone can support their loved ones who are incarcerated alone, including you. You may also experience difficulties when you have to support your incarcerated brother alone. Therefore, to motivate your brother, and ensure that all his needs are met, open up to all family members, relatives and friends about your brother being in prison. Ask them for support to provide happiness or send the necessities needed by your brother who is in prison. Maybe this will feel embarrassing. But believe me, most family members or friends of an incarcerated person will also feel concern and pity. So, if you find it difficult to support your brother who is in prison alone, don’t hesitate to open up and ask for help from other family members, relatives and close friends. This support means a lot for your brother who is in prison.
Helpful Books for Your Loved One in Prison
Sending books to loved ones in prison is a simple example of motivating and showing that you care about them. Of course, reading is better for your brother than watching TV or sleeping all day. To counter this perspective, you can give your brother real examples of people who were incarcerated. These include Reginald Dwayne Betts, who was imprisoned for carjacking but was later able to attend Yale University and become a lawyer, and Jeff Henderson, an ex-con who became a chef and author. You must be able to mobilize your energy to maintain a strong relationship with your incarcerated brother.
Here are some books that can help you and your loved ones in prison:
- “Arrested: What to Do When Your Loved One’s in Jail,” by Wes Denham.
- “Before Amen: The Power of Simple Prayer,” by Max Lucado.
- “Beyond Loneliness,” by Trevor Hudson.
- “Chicken Soup for the Soul,” by Jack Canfield, Victor Hansen, Susan M. Heim.
- “Daily Light on the Daily Path,” by the Samuel Bagster Family.
- “Doing Time Together: Love and Family in the Shadow of the Prison,” by Megan Comfort.
- “Family Arrested: How to Survive the Incarceration of a Loved One,” by Ann Edenfield.
- “Help! My Loved One is in Prison,” by Louis N. Jones.
- “How to Love and Inspire Your Man after Prison,” by Michael B. Jackson.
- “Incarcerated but Free: How to Find Freedom from Your Mental Prison,” by Monique Pettaway-Ray.
- “Learning to Sing in a Strange Land,” by Wesley Stevens.
- “Letters to an Incarcerated Brother,” by Hill Harper.
- “Sentenced, Now What?” by Lennie Spitale.
- “When You Have to Go to Prison,” by Margaret R. Kohut.
A bookworm and researcher especially related to law and citizenship education. I spend time every day in front of the internet and the campus library.
