Reentering society after getting incarcerated in jail can be challenging for former inmates. While visiting them or reaching out to deliver support can make it easier for them to reenter society, it is a must to know what to not say to someone who has just been released from incarceration. During this hard time, your words can either be a source of encouragement or harm them. In this post, you will be able to find some phrases and topics that should be avoided when communicating with someone who has recently been released from jail.
Things That Should Not Be Said When Seeing Someone Who Just Got Out of Jail
There are a number of things that you should not say to someone who just got out of jail. These followings are just some examples:
1. “Why did you go to jail?”
Some people may think that this question is normal and there is nothing wrong in the question when in fact it can be uncomfortable for someone who has just returned to society after spending time in jail. Remember that those who were in jail might have valid reasons for their actions and they may not want to discuss the mistakes that they did in the past. Once again, do not ask them such a question, unless they share their story by their own will.
2. “You must have learned your lesson.”
Thinking that someone has learned a lesson after spending time in jail can be judgmental and downgrading them. Inmates often have a hard time in jail. That’s why it is important to support them rather than making assumptions about their change.
3. “I cannot believe you did that.”
Expressing disbelief or shock at the actions that they did can hurt them. Do not forget that people who have served time in jail have regretted their actions and are eager to be better. It is more helpful to acknowledge their efforts to change their life.
4. “You will never change.”
Predicting bad about someone’s future just based on their past can make them down. Some people can change to be a better one. However, they need support and encouragement to achieve their goal. Do not be pessimistic and lend your hard so that they will be able to change for better.
5. “You should have thought about the consequences of your action.”
Blaming someone for their actions in the past can make them feel more guilty and bad. Most individuals who have spent their time in jail are aware of the consequences of their actions. Instead of bringing up their past, it is better for you to offer support and guidance so that their future can be better.
6. “I knew you would end up in jail someday.”
Saying that you knew they would end up in jail means you always see that individual as a bad person. In fact, not everyone who is in jail is a bad person. Some of them can be trapped, some can be there due to unfair law, and so on. Even if they made mistakes in the past, it is better to show empathy rather than judgment.
7. “Your time in jail must be easy.”
Assuming that those who have spent their life at incarcerated places have an easy time can discredit their hard work and efforts. The prison experience can be exhausting both physically and mentally. It is the reason why it is important to acknowledge their experiences instead of making assumptions.
8. “You are lucky you got out of jail early.”
Thinking that their release was due to their luck can downplay the hard work and efforts that they may have put into rehabilitation and personal growth during their time in jail. Instead of saying the sentence, acknowledge their efforts and eager to make their life better.
9. “Are you still in touch with your old friends?”
This question can be seen as wanting to know about others’ private lives. Instead of asking such a question, focus on helping them make new friends and support them to have a good relationship with everyone.
10. “You will never be able to find a job with your criminal record.”
While it is true that it will not be easy for someone who just got released from jail to get a job, saying this sentence can discourage them and make them down. If you cannot help them to find a job, just keep quiet.
Bottom Line
In conclusion, supporting someone who has just been released from jail requires empathy, patience, and sensitivity. In order to make them feel encouraged to make positive changes in their lives, make sure to avoid sensitive comments and topics. Keep in mind that reentering society is full of challenges and your support means a lot for them so that it will be easier for them to start their lives.
A bookworm and researcher especially related to law and citizenship education. I spend time every day in front of the internet and the campus library.
